Who's your crush/es?

Who among you never had a crush? I'll slap you on your face if you never had a crush. I have a lot of crushes. From celebrities, to co-workers, and even some good-looking people you just saw while you're walking on a crowded place.

But what's the purpose of having crush/es? Is it to inspire you? Inspire you to have your Mr/Ms. Perfect? Inspire you to excel on your endeavors so that he/she will notice you? Or simply mesmerizing how good looking this person is? But is it really all about the looks? A physical attraction?

Having a lot of crushes made me think... why? what for?

Fail! Fail! Fail!

RIGHT PERSON AT THE WRONG TIME. What if you met someone who will be leaving soon? As in tomorrow? And you regret that day because you didn't took chances spending the whole night with that person even if you know that it is possible? FAIL!

REBOUND. I met you on the day that you broke up with your boyfriend. We had our moments but you left me without a word for me to discover that you went back to him. FAIL!

INDEPENDENT. You've managed to stand on your own feet and be successful. You live alone and never had someone there until we met. You became used to being alone that having someone entering your life complicates everything on your part. I took the risk of taking chances with you. But you ended up going back to your own self... alone. FAIL!

BEST FRIEND. More than a friend, less than a lover - my best friend. I know, I'm not your type but we can be good friends. What a slap on my face! But as a consolation prize for me, you became one of my best friends. FAIL!

MY EX'S FRIEND. Before, you we're just a common friend on facebook with my ex. Then your pictures became an eye candy to me. But then when I finally met you in person I found out that you're already taken. FAIL!


MARRIED. WTF! You said "I love you" to me the same day you told me that you're already married. FAIL!

IN A RELATIONSHIP. Yeah right, you are not married. But you are currently on a 10-year relationship. What do you want me to feel about that? FAIL!

FASHION DESIGNER. Very youthful and charming. The only thing is that you think you are too high yet you still have a lot to prove.  FAIL!

FIL-AUSTRALIAN MODEL. You're simplicity in spite your good looks mesmerized me. But the thing is you're so far away that stopped us from being together. But I'm thankful that I got the chance to meet you in person at least once in my life. FAIL!

SUPER BUSY PERSON. We met on one of your free time. Later on, I found out that your free time is once in a blue moon. FAIL!

MY EX. First cut is the deepest. I was truly madly deeply in love with you at that time. But then being too nice became the reason of our breakup. It hurts to find out that being too much of a good person on a relationship is not the key to a successful relationship. Sometimes if it is not meant to be, no matter how hard you try it will never work. FAIL!

Dead End

High school days. Senior year. Some are busy preparing for college. Some are getting ready to face the end of their school days for they know that they can't afford to go to college. Some of them are very busy participating in school activities. Others have no plans at all.

I remember at that time that I was just going with the flow. I took college entrance exams on three different universities without any idea on what course will I take for college.

UPCAT (University of the Philippines). I took the exam with one of my best friend. I didn't pass a part of the exam (the reading comprehension part - only at 50%) but I passed the rest of the exam (at 90+%). FAIL.

BulSU Entrance Exam (Bulacan State University). I took the exam at this University because they offer BS Nursing course and my mom wants me to take nursing at that time so that I will be able to work abroad. My mom took nursing on her college days but she wasn't able to finish nursing because she became pregnant on her last year in college.  I passed the entrance exam but it's too late... I'm already enrolled to another University by the time that I discovered that I passed.

PUPCET (Polytechnic University of the Philippines). My mom accompanied me on taking the exam here. The entrance exam is a bit similar to UPCAT, the only difference is that UPCAT's reading comprehension part is a lot longer than with PUPCET. I was able to pass PUPCET and with flying colors (above 92%).

So I was able to pass 2 out of 3 entrance exams without any course to take on my mind. What course should I take on college? Why am I going to college? Do I really need to go to college?

Pressure. Not a single member of my family were able to graduate college (except for me). So they all want me to pursue college. 

Enrollment at PUP. Enrollment schedules are based on PUPCET results. The one with the highest scores will enroll on the first day, so on and so forth. I was scheduled on the 2nd day. Almost everyone are heading to 5th floor. Without any idea on what to do and on what college will I enroll, I went to the same floor. Then I realized that the people lead me to the College of Accountancy and my college days officially started as a BSA student.

Bachelor of Science in Accountancy. My first two years in college. Culture shock. Majority of my classmates are either high school Valedictorian or Salutatorian and to think I did not even get any honors on my senior year... WTF am I doing here with all these bright people? To add up on that, Dos Policy was strongly implemented in our College. That's like having a grade of 85% on all major subjects! To sum it up, I ended shifting course because I didn't meet the grade requirements on my way to 3rd year (though I didn't have a failing grade, I never had a failing grade. Haha!).

Bachelor in Business Administration major in Management minor in Marketing. Before heading to the College of Business to shift course, I tried going to other colleges - College of Computer Management and Information Technology, College of Language and Linguistics, and College of Engineering. But since I'm too lazy to start over again, I went to College of Business, where majority of my subjects will be credited and I will be able to graduate on time on that course. 

May 8, 2009. Graduation day. I was able to graduate on time. But then it kept me thinking. What have I learned from the course that I have finished? What have I got from four years of studying aside from my college diploma?

Today. Its been more than two years since I graduated but my question still remains the same. They say everything happens for a purpose, for a reason. Most of the time we learn from our experiences, but what have I learned from this experience, I am unsure. I have no where else to go. I've taken the wrong road and now I'm on dead-end. How can I go back to the right track?